Aug 9th: NCL Week 1 UPDATED

NCL Week #1: How are there Still Nasty Newb$?


Around 30 rolled out for Nacho Champions League week one, somehow, despite lacking the Kanton Kittens, Double D, Stephen Pain and a ton of other regulars. New folks, including a bunch of dudes from Team Jazzy Trees and not one, but two Sic Transit Michaels. Everyone was jazzy. How are there still new folks who haven’t done yet? How have you not done yet? GET ON IT. would like to formally apologize for the brief, slight, acceleration prior to Waters. Glen, as is his wont, decided to attempt to poach a KOM mid slow-section. This is generally frowned upon. Glen went early from the back of the group after the segment started, as everyone else just enjoyed innocently chatting, ensuring that even should someone go with him – KOM CITY USA. Unless, unless you get handled. Which is what happened. As they say, if you’re going to pull your dick out, you better suck it… or something like that.

NCL Week one got off to a little rocky start as the Champions League teams had to be reorganized on Nature Cut since everyone was newbz/jazzy. Eventually Al messed the whole thing up didn’t give Chelsea any riders, so everyone pulled together and fixed it, and made pretty balanced teams. So those riders have been added to permanent places on those teams.

With a slight tailwind and a big, balanced group, this week ended up being one of the fastest Nachos of the season. There were much PRs and the two new teams brought in for Champions League showed that consistency and balance win the day.

Fletcher opened up early with Hoffenheim trying to make it at least hard from the gun. It seemed like there were seven teams going for the prime at Fletcher as there were so-many-dudes. There may have even been some tactics playing out; who knows. In all the confusion, Glen managed to stay out front for the prime, JEREMY WON THIS CUZ GLEN WENT TOO EARLY sitting up early uncontested. It was like everyone was sprinting like crazy to be the first to sit up.

The Parker segment opened up quickly. Sic Transit Michael #1 pulled through very hard into the first roller, prompting some folks to say, “where did that come from… doesn’t he know that no one likes to work?” He discovered that when wildly flicking his elbow on deaf ears. Now tired, the group rolled slow up the Loosest of Gooses, so going into the stair-step roller Al went super early for the Parker Prime. Glen came with him, because Glen Loves Primes, but never came around. Who knows. Maybe he doesn’t love them primes enough?

Everything came back together going into the Zeeb section. Sic Transit Michael #1 took a couple more solid pulls (seriously, doesn’t he know how lazy we are?) and the group was robust but Hoffenheim  was the only team that still had all five riders in the mix. Then, Jeff AC and Matt D went on the attack; they floated out front for awhile, through the pavement, up the little rise and into the falsest of flats. They were dangling out there long enough so Sean and Rich took a couple of digs to get Man City up to the break. The bunch came with them though, and the second the catch was made Al counter attacked for Hoffenheim, taking the Zeeb prime, and opening a small gap going into the final section.

The group came together into the Wagner section, with Al still dangling off the front a few hundred meters. It was a futile effort, Sean pulled him back in, doing all the work, no one else did any work, it was just Sean (as reported by Sean). The catch was made at speed, with about 800 meters to go. It looked like Captain Ron V. for Hoffenheim was going to play this perfectly. Glen was going way too early as usual with Ron V. tucked right in snuggggggglie on his wheel. Sic Transit Michael #1 was in good position, with Rich, PotoKing sitting in the draft as well. Then… Ron sat up, Sic Transit Michael #1 didn’t know where the finish was, Rich and PotoKing give exactly zero fucks… so, Glen? Yeah Glen. Way to go dude.

So Champions League opens up with the two bottom teams from NPL coming out on top through consistency (and Glen’s 5 bonus points for the win). Chelsea really sucked it up in the game but is rolling in PR points from Wendy & Kevin. Brad scored some PRs for Hoffenheim and JZ came through with a fast ride for Man City. It’s all tied up at the top with Liverpool lagging in the rear.

UPDATED: Due to a malfunction in our highly sophisticated timing system, JZ actually won that first prime, not Glen… which might have been just a two point swing… BUT the prime was the difference between Man City jumping over Young Boys on the day so… with a four point swing MAN CITY is in 2nd with Young Boys dropping to 3rd. HIGH DRAMA AMIRIGHT?


Next week: Chelsea lags by 3 points, will the return of Captain Danny change things? With his performance in NPL, Sean is leading his own team for the first time; 1 & 3 is a tactical game – will Sean be a leader for his team? Young Boys currently has the tie breaker over Hoffenheim, they’ll be watching each other closely. Hoffenheim out front with Man City, Young Boys and Chelsea all bunched up in the middle. The re-scoring didn’t help Liverpool. Nothing can help liverpool.

Standings Week 1
Hoffenheim 18
Man City 15
Young Boys 14
Chelsea 11
Liverpool 4