Aug 23rd: NCL Week 3

NCL Week 3: Virallinen Musiikkivideo

Wow. Really, really sorry about that video. We’re really not sure what’s going on there, or how to follow it… much like the hott fakkinnen raccinniinnggeo that took place at NCL week 3.

Once again it was tough to get the teams together. We really need a better system. It was easier to get teams together for kickball in the first grade. Probably because everyone was smarter. Either way, we made it out of nature cut before dark and almost half of the 35+ crowd knew which team they were on and what was going on. We’ll call that a success.

Game this week was a new one gaps which is basically Nacho Classique with bonus points for having a gap over the main field. It was designed to encourage attacks, which may have worked, or it was just an attacking sort of day – there was much attacking, and some drifting.

The Fletcher segment opened up with a few dudes drifting off the front here and there, but generally stayed together until the wind up for the prime. With slight tailwind, speeds were high, Al ramped it up early to stretch the group out, and just about everyone went for the prime. Danny took it at Fletcher for Chelsea and it started to look like another big day of points.

Into the Parker section, Sam attacked through the stop sign which is frowned upon by everyone, including Jesus, and the baby Jesus, and Baby Lil’ Jesus, whose 2nd album “Sam, don’t fucking do that” was #3 on the southern hip-hop fake-songs about fake racing chart. It didn’t matter though, as everyone was antsy and he was pulled in quickly. New Guy Joel didn’t know any better and pulled really hard up the first little rise (thanks dude!) with Al on 2nd wheel… who, having ridden Waters close to one billion times, came around and put a little gap on the field over the top (y’all sit up in the same place every week). The bunch let him dangle out front for the entire section – almost bringing him back a couple of times only to let the gap go out again. Three separate bros would later tell him, “I pulled you back, but then didn’t want to do all the work and no one else came around so the gap went back out.” That totally sounds true. Through the last roller set Sam attacked the bunch and was able to make contact with Al just before the Parker prime, but didn’t have enough to come around.

The Zeeb section started with a little flurry as the front group thought they might have a little gap, but it closed up quickly. Jeff AC, Duncan & a couple of others ended up with a little group off the front, but couldn’t get organized. THAT WAS THE MOVE DUDES but it was heavy on rookies and it came back to the bunch pretty quickly. Then, everything went slow. Real slow. The falsest of flats started out with a whole bunch of soft-pedaling on freshly graded roads. A couple of dudes were out with flats, including Al, so things were looking rough for Hoffenheim. Danny was secretly nursing a slow-leak too, but had enough to come around and split the Zeeb prime with Duncan who, without Stephen, was trying to drag Liverpool out of last place single handed.

Still no gaps going into the final, despite the game being called gaps. Rich made a move and Sam went with him. The rest of you fucking fail. You have 2k to go and you let Sam go with Rich? You know Rich is going to do all the work and not contest the sprint. You know Sam is the only guy who will never shut up about “winning” Nachoride. You know nobody wants to hear that shit for the next seventeen years. Maybe you just didn’t want to hear about Waterford anymore?

Anyway, Rich let Sam take the final, the bonus, and the 4 points of gap-bonus for Young Boys who ended up 2nd on the day to Chelsea, but taking in the points-win at 24, which brought them up to a tie for 2nd with Hoffenheim in league standings who have been coasting since their big first week.

Full Results & Standings

Going into the Team Pursuit in week 4 standings have Chelsea way out in front, Young Boys, Hoffenheim & Man City all bunched up in the middle and Liverpool… well… Liverpool will get a big head start.

Total Points
Chelsea 55
Hoffenheim 38
Young Boys 38
Man City 35
Liverpool 21

Hoffenheim has a grip on the GC and the Zabel Locked. Al has locked the Cheese, and Dave Krank Jazz leads Rich & Sean by a hair in the individual GC.

Gaps for Week 4: (2 seconds/point)

  1. Liverpool 0:00
  2. Man City 0:28
  3. Young Boys 0:34
  4. Hoffenheim 0:34
  5. Chelsea 1:08

Will Man City, Young Boys & Hoffenheim work together to fuck over Chelsea? We can only hope…. Hoff & YB need 17 points to overtake Chelsea… a win and the bonus could do it… but they have to work together first to keep Chelsea off the board. If Chelsea catches them… it’s over.