March 28th: Go to town, yeah

Nachori.de is off to a great start. The second week was muddy and cold but Glen showed up in a slightly less enormous but still solidly huge jacket along with about 30 other folks. Even Khao made the start! Also, heavy consideration was given to just leaving this Doja Cat video up all season. Honestly, with the posting of Go to Town, we’ve peaked.

We avoided the Nature Cut again this week due to mud and ruts, unfortunately the entire ride was mud and ruts. Who knew. Jay and Danny disappeared for some mud wrestlin’ on their own and showed up about an hour later with wry grins. We’re not making any assumptions, but they definitely fucked.

This week saw another surprise entry onto waters, not to be confused with the “surprise entry” from the previous paragraph. With a few newbies on the ride, the waters turn caught most folks by surprise. Luckily it rolled up to speed steadily and the group stayed together until Fletcher.

Sean took a turn on the front, then Glen, and Andy “what, I thought you lived in Traverse City Now” Weir, and Ian. Every now and then we’d catch a glimpse of a fluo lazer helmet and Knuck Tats. Oh crap, KNUCK TATS IS HERE.

The falsest of flats was hard, as always, and there he was… Knuck tats. Still there. Glen started his sprint for the Wagner sign in southwest Kentucky. We’re not even sure Glen knows where the sign is at this point. Knuck Tats cranked up the speed with Ian on his wheel who sprinted around Knuck Tats for the sign… but as a newb didn’t know about Al’s “no-pedal from the back” move. Oops.

Will next week be the first, actually, really nice Nacho? MAYBE! Probably not. Whatever. Come anyway.

March 21st: More Folks than Degrees F

March 21st means two things: the first day of Spring, the first nachoride and three things, the Persian New Ye four things the 50th anniversary of Micky Mouse’s first auto-erotic asphyxiation experimen… five things it was also Al’s birthday.

We’re not exactly sure which of those factors brought the crowd, but at best guess over 40 people rolled out in 35 degrees for the first Nachori.de of the year. A lot of Micky Mouse kink fans out there. With scarce daylight the route was shortened, the potholes were massive, but everyone made it through unscathed. The slow part was a bit harder than past years, but the shorter ride kept the group together.

Those who aren’t geographically gifted were surprised by Waters as we approached from a new angle, which is really the old angle, and immediately hit the gutter for some Nacho Classic. There was no warning, just straight into the crosswind. The grey-beards had their chance to shine as the young & dumb got caught out in the wind and David “DP” Palin & Alan “ZlutMan” Zoltowski knew where to sit.

Once across Fletcher and into the open fields, the gaps opened quickly as effort crossed the 5 minute mark. Al’s Di2 came unplugged and Adam said “Coming Through” which will be ridiculed for at least a month, possibly into May at which point we might let it go. He did a solid job of hanging off the front a few meters through the Parker stop. Glen & Z were still hanging in there, which is amazing since Glen was actually wearing an EZ-UP tent. So aero.

Eventually Danny & Al tricked Adam into taking the first pull on the Falsest of Flats which he fell for because, well, those flats be false yo! It’s harder than it looks. Danny let Al stay on the front across the final as it was the least he could do for someone turning ten years older than him. Like a goddamn decade.

Will this season be HUGE on Nachori.de? LOOKS LIKE IT. C’mon out.