a D.J or whatever

Fuckin’ Connor mann

On the slow roll out Connor is just chillin’ on the front, chatting with Jag-tree-Scott who is saying “I’m on blood thinners, I just have to be careful” and then CONNOR (definitely not Al, who was not on this ride, it was Connor) did what Connor does and immediately crashed his bike into Scott. For no reason. There was… nothing. Just like, not paying attention. Like a fucking baby amateur. Just like, fell off his bike. At 15mph. In the neutral. Fucking Connor.

Waters is graded

Good news / bad news. The potholes are gone, but the deep fresh-grade means you’re putting down hitter-watts even in the draft. Hashtag-no-coasting. For the first 15 min not a freewheel was heard. Everyone went chill around the corner onto waters, saw the fresh grade and smiles abound. Team Wheels in Onsies went to the front and did an honorable job of pulling the group up to Waters-Speed smoothly. Seriously though – the first-pull responsibility is serious. Give folks a chance; keep it steady – and they did. Good on y’all. Smooth as a kitten’s sex-dream (that’s smooth).

Crossing Fletcher and seeing it’s still graded Peter bJörn & Watts waited for the group to come through safely (c’mon, so cool, y’all are just… Imma cry) then he put it fucking down at 30mph in the deep gravel. Watts were had. Drafts were useless. Approaching the rise up to Lima Center, Connor, who was definitely on this ride, recognized that PbJ&W just wrecked the group decided to end He Who Shall Not Come on Nacho and straight buried that hill despite blood spraying from various orifices. It worked. Unfortunately it also got rid of a lot of cool folks that we like, but, you know. Fuck that guy.

Matt “go ahead, I’ll catch you” Dana made an impressive showing holding on through Parker, but the deep, fresh-grade gravel offered no recourse. It was a slog the whole stretch. Parker to Zeeb was wound-licking, resting-on-the-front, waiting for the Falsest of Flats, hoping your shit didn’t fall apart before Zorb. Kyle “I’ll still take a pull even through I know it’s the end of me” Schutte did what he does…. lay it all down on FoF. PbJ&W was by far the strongest on the day and was totally gonna jump on that motor-poach but the look in Connor (who was on the ride) and Kyle’s faces said “Pleaseno” so he sat up and rode to the finish with Connor (again, definitely this was Connor, who was not in Utah, but here, in Michigan, on this ride).

The rest of the group stayed together, a testament to the good roads and high rolling resistance and rolled in just after the leaders finished… fucking. So like 90 seconds. Then, like 3 hrs. later Old Jay showed up at HOMES cuz he as a jorb or whatever but it was still good to see him

Next week: The Full 50. Don’t fuck around. Be there. (if you’re vaccinated)