Sharter Route, Harder beef

Slow /then/ fast then nachos.

Nacho exists so that you can ride with your friends of all cycling abilities, chat with them, enjoy their presence, and then bury their miserable faces in your buttholedraft for 20 minutes or so at the end. Much like the Wendy’s SuperBar*: everyone gets what they want.

As the years change, and folks filter in and out of this transient academic utopia every 2-4 years, the vibe of the “slow” ebbs and flows. It’s a natural progression – it gets faster and faster until folks stop showing up because it’s too fast, making it that much faster until everyone is all “Eh, I want to go on Nacho, but I have to train more.” Let’s be clear, that is some bullllshit.

Nacho doesn’t have a lot of rules. Nacho is as nacho does. There is no organizer. No one is in charge. It does have one fucking rule:

SLOW, THEN FAST, THEN NACHOS.

(and be vaccinated, but I’m not counting that as a Nacho rule because it’s a just a life rule).

Anyway – Nacho will only go as fast as the slowest person who shows up. So if you look at the strava files and the slow bit looks too fast, that’s just the cycle perpetuating itself. It only goes that fast because only the hard-bois are showing up. Said hard-bois will chill out and cruise with a good crowd. Until Waters – then it’s nipple-bleeding-fun.

 
*you thought I was gonna make some kind of weird, possibly bestial, orgy joke there, didn’t you. That’s on you, creep.